A personal note from Kabeer

Rajesh Joshi as Kabeer

Dear friends - yesterday evening, when I was getting ready for the daily grind, suddenly I felt a deep sense of loss: A loss of orientation, direction and companionship ! A kind of ennui, a vacuum had set in.

Where do I search for Zahoor bhai now? Zafar, Anis, Shakeel, Sajjad, Pundit, Dudu -- where have they all melted away in this big bad world? Where did Rajesh disappear after signing the divorce papers? What happened to Kavita? What became of the other Kavita, whom Kabeer had left somewhere far behind in time and space? And what about Kabeer himself? Who is he and where is he?

Pervaiz Alam, you are the culprit. You played the role of Brahma (the Creator) and Shiva (the Destroyer)!! The whole process of entering into your imaginary world was not only challenging but also painful, especially for someone like me who is not as gifted an actor as Badi bhai and others. Watching your creation evaporate into thin air has been even more painful.

For me the whole journey to Zahoor Ka Hotal and back has been more than a catharsis ! But that is just one part of the story. The other side of the moon turned out to be even brighter and brilliant. I found friends like Seema Anand, who struggled hard to teach me how to hug, who showed genuine concern at my anarchic ways; Sajid and Shahid, who became the apple of every girl's eye; Badi the Bady, who showered undeserved praises on me; Agha saheb (whose wrist watch is still with me); Mahtab Chaudhary, whose work reaffirmed my belief that nothing is impossible; Asif Hanif, whose presence was all too pervasive; Nibedita, whose commitment to art and theatre impressed everybody; Monish babu, whose quiet demeanour was something to learn from; Bhawani, who camouflaged my besura raag !!

Rakay, his little sister, Unzela, and their mother Arsala added happiness to the atmosphere. I don't want to sound too formal but I saw Rupa, Anwaar, Santosh, Suniti and Achala in their new avatars.

Thanks a lot Pervaiz bhai for introducing me to such a wonderful set of people. Working with you all has been a great experience and I don't have words to express my gratitude.

Rajesh Joshi - London 19 April 2005